The reward is an 'Evil Panda' sweatshirt made by my imaginary boyfriend, Harold Sizumi.
Sunday, 13 January 2013
RAP'S MOST WANTED
Please help me locate these criminals. They brutally attacked the rap game and left it crying in a fetal position at the psychiatric's office.
The reward is an 'Evil Panda' sweatshirt made by my imaginary boyfriend, Harold Sizumi.
The reward is an 'Evil Panda' sweatshirt made by my imaginary boyfriend, Harold Sizumi.
RAP : The Unwashed Masses
Good day to you all. I would just like to start off by saying that these rap posts are MY opinion and should not be taken to heart. So dry your tears all you sobbing Lil' Wayne fans and drag yourselves out of that hole you're buried in; surrounded by posters of your 'idol.'
Anyway, I would like to address another topic on rap music that is close to my heart. MUSIC VIDEOS.
To put it mildly, music videos are basically meant to convey the message of a song through visuals. Well according to Wikipedia it's more like...
Most rap music videos today comprise of these 3 factors : 1)MONEY 2)BITCHES and 3)RETARDED DANCE MOVES.
For example, let's take the very famous 'hit' song of 2012, 'Bandz A Make Her Dance.'It's no secret how much I despise this song. However, the video is even worse. The fact that Juicy J attempts to grab the attention of the public with an army of mildly attractive loose women, gyrating their silicon-filled asses for the unwashed masses. As if everyone who watches rap videos is some pre-pubescent horny little white boy who dreams of getting his hands on a real sister from the motherland. Or some black guy who dreams of getting his hands on 'a bad bitch who's on the TWERK team.' They choose to show women in an unflattering light and choose to view these dancers at bad camera angles that regular girls would probably cry over. What disgusts me the most is the constant portrayal of women as strippers who will do ANYTHING for your rubber bands or your dollar bills. Juicy J, get your ass out of the strip club and proceed to go search for Tupac's ghost to teach you how to rap. And just because you carry around a bag full of $1 bills tied with rubber bands that 'make them bitches go insane', does not mean that you are 'getting money bitch!'I'm not even going to attempt to decipher what Lil' Wayne is saying in this song, due to the fact that I don't pride myself in applauding people who think of themselves as poets just cos they think EVERY DAMN WORD UNDER THE SUN RHYMES WITH NIGGA!
KILL. ME. NOW.
We all know how much I hate 2 Chainz but I will leave that story for another post. To put things mildly, when 2 Chainz' verse pulled up, I could LITERALLY feel the brain cells dying in me. I believe that now I have justification to fail math due to that song...just saying. :P
Now about the money...
Jessie J could easily pop out and start singing that, "It's not about the money, money, money." However Jessie, since you pulled in a cool $5 mil. as of late April 2012, you won't mind if we download that album of yours from songlovers.com right? Didn't think so. -_-
But ladies and gentleman, Jessie J is not a rapper but provides a very good example.
Either I live under a rock or have you noticed that nearly EVERY music video out there has the main artist showing off their money and rap about how they splurge it on cars, Louis Vuitton shoes and, you guessed it, bitches.
Rappers choose to rap about these things because they believe that it is socially relevant but mostly because they have run out of material. The fact that they assume that we want to hear about their recent exotic splurges on a house in the Bahamas and plastic surgery for their Brazilian girlfriend. I just don't understand it all. The fact that they're waving around dollar bills and bragging about their gold-plated toilet seat just further justifies my belief that rap music has gone to the dogs.
Finally, retarded dance moves. I really don't want to get into this one because I feel that it is a topic that doesn't even deserve my attention. The truth is, rap music has been plagued by these 'phenomenons' every damn year! We had Korean K-pop singer/rapper Psy create 'Gangnam Style.' It has it's own little dance accompanying it and unless you've been living under a rock then you must have heard of it. You will also realize that the internet is filled with lame parodies of this song. I'm sure that no one will remember Psy past this song, considering the fact that he's released 6 albums already!! He will probably fade into obscurity like all those other internet 'sensations' out there...
more rap rants to come....:)
Anyway, I would like to address another topic on rap music that is close to my heart. MUSIC VIDEOS.
To put it mildly, music videos are basically meant to convey the message of a song through visuals. Well according to Wikipedia it's more like...
"A music video or song video is a short film integrating a song and imagery, produced for promotional or artistic purposes.[1] Modern music videos are primarily made and used as a marketing device intended to promote the sale of music recordings. Although the origins of music videos date back much further, they came into prominence in the 1980s, whenMTV based their format around the medium. Prior to the 1980s, these works were described by various terms including "illustrated song", "filmed insert", "promotional (promo) film", "promotional clip", "song video", "song clip" or "film clip"."
Well then again, that's just the mentality of Wikipedia. Anyway the real problem at hand that I would like to point out are the messages the rap videos convey. The fact of the matter is, there are very few rap videos in the mainstream and popular life that convey a very good message. If there are any then please inform me, cos I certainly haven't come across any.Most rap music videos today comprise of these 3 factors : 1)MONEY 2)BITCHES and 3)RETARDED DANCE MOVES.
For example, let's take the very famous 'hit' song of 2012, 'Bandz A Make Her Dance.'It's no secret how much I despise this song. However, the video is even worse. The fact that Juicy J attempts to grab the attention of the public with an army of mildly attractive loose women, gyrating their silicon-filled asses for the unwashed masses. As if everyone who watches rap videos is some pre-pubescent horny little white boy who dreams of getting his hands on a real sister from the motherland. Or some black guy who dreams of getting his hands on 'a bad bitch who's on the TWERK team.' They choose to show women in an unflattering light and choose to view these dancers at bad camera angles that regular girls would probably cry over. What disgusts me the most is the constant portrayal of women as strippers who will do ANYTHING for your rubber bands or your dollar bills. Juicy J, get your ass out of the strip club and proceed to go search for Tupac's ghost to teach you how to rap. And just because you carry around a bag full of $1 bills tied with rubber bands that 'make them bitches go insane', does not mean that you are 'getting money bitch!'I'm not even going to attempt to decipher what Lil' Wayne is saying in this song, due to the fact that I don't pride myself in applauding people who think of themselves as poets just cos they think EVERY DAMN WORD UNDER THE SUN RHYMES WITH NIGGA!
Now about the money...
Jessie J could easily pop out and start singing that, "It's not about the money, money, money." However Jessie, since you pulled in a cool $5 mil. as of late April 2012, you won't mind if we download that album of yours from songlovers.com right? Didn't think so. -_-
But ladies and gentleman, Jessie J is not a rapper but provides a very good example.
Either I live under a rock or have you noticed that nearly EVERY music video out there has the main artist showing off their money and rap about how they splurge it on cars, Louis Vuitton shoes and, you guessed it, bitches.
Rappers choose to rap about these things because they believe that it is socially relevant but mostly because they have run out of material. The fact that they assume that we want to hear about their recent exotic splurges on a house in the Bahamas and plastic surgery for their Brazilian girlfriend. I just don't understand it all. The fact that they're waving around dollar bills and bragging about their gold-plated toilet seat just further justifies my belief that rap music has gone to the dogs.
Finally, retarded dance moves. I really don't want to get into this one because I feel that it is a topic that doesn't even deserve my attention. The truth is, rap music has been plagued by these 'phenomenons' every damn year! We had Korean K-pop singer/rapper Psy create 'Gangnam Style.' It has it's own little dance accompanying it and unless you've been living under a rock then you must have heard of it. You will also realize that the internet is filled with lame parodies of this song. I'm sure that no one will remember Psy past this song, considering the fact that he's released 6 albums already!! He will probably fade into obscurity like all those other internet 'sensations' out there...
more rap rants to come....:)
RAP : DOOMED FOREVER?
Well it looks like I'm back bitches...and I ain't happy. >:(
Do you KNOW how terrible rap/hip hop music has gotten this past year?! With releases such as 'Bandz A Make Her Dance', 'Birthday Song' and 'Beez In The Trap' (notice how ALL of them contain 2 Chainz! Coincidence I think not!!), the future is looking pretty bleak for rap music. And that is why I am here...to rectify...and rant...
Well let us start this list with my personal favorite, Lil' Wayne.
Okay Weezy, we know that you have achieved great success with your string of 'Tha Carter' albums which many consider as the height of your career. However, ever since Drake rolled around with his Canadian accent and his smooth 'Drag me into your bedroom sweetie and Screw me now' voice you seem to have plummeted in album sales and fallen out of favor with critics. Let us also not forget your other associate Nicki Minaj, who has seemed to have sunk her Barbie pink fingernails into your brain and 'seduced' you with her multiple personalities; all of this while receiving a lap dance from her and watching her wigs fall off. -_-
But I digress.
The thing is, you seem to to assume that the children of today fancy you. You ASSUME that they want to hear you screech into the microphone in that gravelly voice of yours; sounding like an auto tuned grizzly bear during mating season! You ASSUME that we all want to hear about how you are CONSTANTLY 'getting money bitch!' Seriously dude? I doubt that any of us relate to that smooth $27 mil you're sitting on (as of late 2012), and we can't relate to the amount of bitches you be gettin', or as you so 'poetically' put it; the amount of p**** you receive from these thousands of loose hoes that hang out backstage at your shows. (hey that rhymed :)) You can't just ASSUME that everybody wants to hear about how you 'devour a female's nether-regions' every night of your life under the full moon. Really Weezy? ASSUME makes an ass out of you and me!
What annoys me most about you is the fact that you think that EVERY. DAMN. WORD. UNDER. THE. BLUE. MOON. RHYMES. WITH....NIGGA!!!
I mean really, it's just preposterous! And pretentious! The fact that you think that everyone looks up to a guy who only gets a few lines of witty wordplay in an otherwise crappy song. You walk around thinking that you have all this 'swag' but in reality your swag is like Botswana rain. Sometimes you're soaked in it but other times it goes on a week-long dry spell. Don't believe me? Well...
I had that same facial expression too when I saw those boots -_-
Weezy, honestly there's not much I can say other than that I hope that your future forays do not recede into the distance like your hairline. I also pray that the weed doesn't kill you and that that jail incident has REALLY changed you, for the better. I hope you don't blow your money on hoes and crappy collaborations with artists such as 2 Chainz, Juicy J and French Montana. And please don't get anymore meaningless tattoos! Seriously, the word 'BAKED' tattooed on your forehead...DOES. NOT. MAKE. YOU. GANGSTA!!!
more rap rants to come...stay tuned. :)
Do you KNOW how terrible rap/hip hop music has gotten this past year?! With releases such as 'Bandz A Make Her Dance', 'Birthday Song' and 'Beez In The Trap' (notice how ALL of them contain 2 Chainz! Coincidence I think not!!), the future is looking pretty bleak for rap music. And that is why I am here...to rectify...and rant...
Well let us start this list with my personal favorite, Lil' Wayne.
Okay Weezy, we know that you have achieved great success with your string of 'Tha Carter' albums which many consider as the height of your career. However, ever since Drake rolled around with his Canadian accent and his smooth 'Drag me into your bedroom sweetie and Screw me now' voice you seem to have plummeted in album sales and fallen out of favor with critics. Let us also not forget your other associate Nicki Minaj, who has seemed to have sunk her Barbie pink fingernails into your brain and 'seduced' you with her multiple personalities; all of this while receiving a lap dance from her and watching her wigs fall off. -_-
But I digress.
The thing is, you seem to to assume that the children of today fancy you. You ASSUME that they want to hear you screech into the microphone in that gravelly voice of yours; sounding like an auto tuned grizzly bear during mating season! You ASSUME that we all want to hear about how you are CONSTANTLY 'getting money bitch!' Seriously dude? I doubt that any of us relate to that smooth $27 mil you're sitting on (as of late 2012), and we can't relate to the amount of bitches you be gettin', or as you so 'poetically' put it; the amount of p**** you receive from these thousands of loose hoes that hang out backstage at your shows. (hey that rhymed :)) You can't just ASSUME that everybody wants to hear about how you 'devour a female's nether-regions' every night of your life under the full moon. Really Weezy? ASSUME makes an ass out of you and me!
What annoys me most about you is the fact that you think that EVERY. DAMN. WORD. UNDER. THE. BLUE. MOON. RHYMES. WITH....NIGGA!!!
I mean really, it's just preposterous! And pretentious! The fact that you think that everyone looks up to a guy who only gets a few lines of witty wordplay in an otherwise crappy song. You walk around thinking that you have all this 'swag' but in reality your swag is like Botswana rain. Sometimes you're soaked in it but other times it goes on a week-long dry spell. Don't believe me? Well...
I had that same facial expression too when I saw those boots -_-
Weezy, honestly there's not much I can say other than that I hope that your future forays do not recede into the distance like your hairline. I also pray that the weed doesn't kill you and that that jail incident has REALLY changed you, for the better. I hope you don't blow your money on hoes and crappy collaborations with artists such as 2 Chainz, Juicy J and French Montana. And please don't get anymore meaningless tattoos! Seriously, the word 'BAKED' tattooed on your forehead...DOES. NOT. MAKE. YOU. GANGSTA!!!
more rap rants to come...stay tuned. :)
Sunday, 6 January 2013
Hate.
Tears.
Sweat.
Scars.
Blood.
I sacrificed my soul for you. And you just cast me aside like some dirty unwanted shirt. You promised me love, happiness and passion. You said that we would spend eternity in each others arms. You lied.
I was ready for anything. I would lie for you. Die for you. Steal for you. Kill for you.
Your eyes burn holes through my skin. Piercing and green, undressing me. My every move drives you insane. It's like a reaction in your brain, telling you to strike me. Smash your fist against my face.
Smash it til it breaks.
Then drag me out like I'm a disgrace. Blood dripping down my face. Let all the neighbors know of your evil deed and then blame it on me.
I'm used to it.
So now let's make things clear. As I stand at the foot of your bed, clutching a butcher's knife.
Smiling manically with your blood all over my face.
Fingers sore and cut. Bloody and smelling of rust. With your dismembered head lying in the dust...
I. HATE. YOU.
Sweat.
Scars.
Blood.
I sacrificed my soul for you. And you just cast me aside like some dirty unwanted shirt. You promised me love, happiness and passion. You said that we would spend eternity in each others arms. You lied.
I was ready for anything. I would lie for you. Die for you. Steal for you. Kill for you.
Your eyes burn holes through my skin. Piercing and green, undressing me. My every move drives you insane. It's like a reaction in your brain, telling you to strike me. Smash your fist against my face.
Smash it til it breaks.
Then drag me out like I'm a disgrace. Blood dripping down my face. Let all the neighbors know of your evil deed and then blame it on me.
I'm used to it.
So now let's make things clear. As I stand at the foot of your bed, clutching a butcher's knife.
Smiling manically with your blood all over my face.
Fingers sore and cut. Bloody and smelling of rust. With your dismembered head lying in the dust...
I. HATE. YOU.
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