JENNIFER'S BODY QUOTES

Jennifer Check: I am going to rip out your heart, eat it... and shit it out!
Needy Lesnicky: I thought you only murdered boys.
Jennifer Check: I go both ways.

Needy Lesnicky: Jennifer's evil.
Chip Dove: I know.
Needy Lesnicky: No. I mean, she's actually evil. Not high school evil.

Needy Lesnicky: You're killing people?
Jennifer Check: No. I'm killing boys.

Needy Lesnicky: You know what? You were never really a good friend. Even when we were little, you used to steal my toys and pour lemonade on my bed.
Jennifer Check: And now, I'm eating your boyfriend. See? At least I'm consistent.

Needy Lesnicky: I will finish you if I have to.
Jennifer Check: Ok, you can barely finish gym class.
Needy Lesnicky: [voice-over] And sometimes, you might just get lucky in your miserable life.

Jennifer Check: I think the singer wants me.
Needy Lesnicky: Only because he thinks you're a virgin. I heard them talking.
Jennifer Check: Yeah, right. I'm not even a backdoor-virgin anymore, thanks to Roman. By the way, that hurts. I couldn't even go to flags the next day. I had to stay home and sit on a bag of frozen peas.

Jennifer Check: I just got Aquamarine on DVD. It's about a girl who's, like, half sushi. She must've had sex with a blowhole or something.

Jennifer Check: [Having been stabbed in the stomach and bleeding profusely] Got a tampon?

Nikolai Wolf: Do you know how hard it is to make it as an indie band these days? There are so many of us, and we're all so cute and it's like if you don't get on Letterman or some retarded soundtrack, you're screwed, okay? Satan is our only hope. We're working with the beast now. And we've got to make a really big impression on him. And to do that, we're going to have to butcher you. And bleed you. And then Dirk here is gonna wear your face.
[Dirk gives him a look]
Nikolai Wolf: Relax, I'm kidding about the face thing. The rest is gonna happen.

Needy Lesnicky: Hell is a teenage girl.

Needy Lesnicky: Why do you need him? Huh? you can have anybody that you want Jennifer. So why chip? is it just to tick me off? or is it just because you're just really insecure?
Jennifer Check: I am not insecure Needy. God thats a joke, how could I ever be insecure. I was the snowflake queen.
Needy Lesnicky: Yeah two years ago when you were socially relevant.
Jennifer Check: I am still socially relevant.
Needy Lesnicky: And when you didnt need laxatives to stay skinny.
Jennifer Check: I am going... to eat your soul... and shit it out Lesnicky!

Needy Lesnicky: Are you PMS'ing or something?
Jennifer Check: PMS isn't real Needy, it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem like we're crazy.

Jennifer Check: [to Needy] Do you buy all your murder weapons at Home Depot? God, your butch!

Jennifer Check: You're such a player-hater.
Needy Lesnicky: And you're a jerk.
Jennifer Check: Nice insult, Hannah Montana. You got any more harsh digs?

Chastity: You're totally lesbi-gay.

Chastity: It's true. It's on the Wikipedia.

Colin Gray: They're showing Rocky Horror at the Bijou next Friday night...
Jennifer Check: ...I don't like boxing movies...

Needy Lesnicky: [V.O. About her 'fan mail'] I'm kinda the shit.

Chip Dove: [Needy is changing] Those jeans are hella low. I can almost see your front butt.
Needy Lesnicky: It's a rock show. This is my rock look.
Chip Dove: Well, I can see, like, your womb, so...

Chip Dove: Stop kidnapping my girlfriend!

Jennifer Check: [Colin got cut by a pair of garden hedges] Oh! A puncture wound. God, that's *so* emo...

Jennifer Check: [Pulls down Colin's pants] Nice hardware, Ace.

Nikolai Wolf: [Reading the ritual] We cone here tonight to sacrifice the body of...
[Takes Jennifer's gag out]
Nikolai Wolf: What's your name again, Tiffany?
Jennifer Check: [Sobbing] My name is Jennifer...
Nikolai Wolf: Super.

Chip Dove: She can fly?
Needy Lesnicky: She's just hovering... It's not that impressive.
Jennifer Check: God, Do you have to undermine everything I do? You are such a player hater.