Upon reflection...

As my final week of exams draws to a close, I can't help but wonder how much better I could've done if I had applied myself. Sitting in the computer lab blogging while I waste away an hour doesn't seem like the best place to start. Well, I did  finish early after all.

Upon reflection, I have realised 5 things this term:

1. My social ineptitude and depression have hampered me from making any new friends (and have succeeded in making me push away and alienate my current ones)
2. My taste in music is far more superior than my peers and anyone who reproaches my statement will be fed to the wolves
3. I need to start bleaching my skin because all the black boys I'm friends with say that I am too dark (plus the guys I like tend to go for yellow-bones)
4. My blog layout sucks and my presence on social media is missed
5. Boys suck!
6. I decided to add this last one to stick to my whole non-conformity case- Lots of people get on my nerves!

Aside from my useless meanderings and forays into the unknown, I have realised that I have truly let myself go. Both in the physical sense and the metaphorical sense.

NOTE: I am typing this during an alleged ICT practical mock exam and the hot guy behind me is helping his friends cheat by printing the paper for him.

There are a ton of things that I need to get done during the holiday. Firstly, I need to redefine and reshape my blog layout, as it looks rather childish and I am embarrassed to even open it up on web browsers at school anymore. Secondly, I need to make new friends, as next year my A-Level class buddies list is looking decidedly empty. Thirdly, I need to slap-a-nigga! (Sorry, I'm getting a little irritated at this blatant act of dishonesty going on behind me. I mean, can't they use Gmail chat?!) Actually, I want to read mostly. But I know that I have to study this holiday, as it has become apparent that I am failing mocks. Just the thought of all those fledgling books waiting for me in the library excites me above other things. I can't wait to burst into the library and inhale the musty smell of books: both new and old.   

Next term is going to be hectic. We have about 3 weeks of proper lessons before we have a study break then start our finals. Then we have Leaver's Dinner and all my friends are pressuring me to wear a dress and get a date. It will truly be a expressing experience, seeing as my Sri Lankan buddy Ovini is leaving for home and I am decidedly the worst person when it comes to keeping in touch with people. Or talking to people for that matter. Or existing!

Oh well, I best sink into a hole of dispairity at my social ineptitude and steely determination to die alone. 

- سيمون (that's my name in Arabic) :)