She was alone.
As she knelt down, elbows resting on the edge of the bed, hands clasped and head bowed in prayer
Her lips quivered as she whispered her routine prayers
She was terrified
Petrified.
But how could she be?
This was her life wasn't it?
Funny, isn't it
When people stay together out of habit
Not out of love, but
Simply because you couldn't possibly picture yourself with someone else
Anyone else
The thought of being alone,
The thought of being put out of your daily routine,
Could terrify most into living a life on unhappiness.
So she stayed there
Kneeling,
As was her routine
It was dictated to her
Drummed into her skull throughout the course of her life,
"If you convert, He won't love you anymore."
"If you refuse to believe, you will be punished for your sins. Bad things will happen to you and your loved ones until you learn your lesson and repent."
"If you question Him, then you are just asking for trouble."
So this was how she would have to function
For the rest of her life
She would live in fear
She knew that this wasn't the right way to think
Not the right way to live
Not the right way to be.
She was taught the He was supposed to save her
That He would keep her safe in all of her endeavors
That He would protect her from all the evil in this world
But she was also taught to fear Him
To fear Him above anything else
Or else she would go to Hell
To respect Him above anyone else
Or else she would go to Hell
To kindly follow all His teachings
Even the ones he didn't truly understand or believe
Or else she would go to Hell
She loved Him
As a child,
He believed that He loved her too
But it was too much now
She was taught to fear
But if she questioned
She would be dead.
-"If it brings me to my knees, then it's a bad religion."
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