Notes from A Dark Skinned Girl

When I was younger, I was always comfortable in my own skin. As a child, I was happy and carefree; not concerned with matters of beauty and the like. I never looked at my mum and wondered why she was of a lighter skin tone than me. I never looked at her hair and wondered why it was a different color from mine. No. I was above such trivial things.

I preferred to content myself with crazy experiments I conducted in my grandparents's garage. I would empty old teabags into an old honey jar and add in all numbers of eclectic ingredients; lemon tree leaves; freshly-squeezed lemon juice; mud and leftovers. I remember the triumphant look I wore on my face when I stole a glossy brown egg from the pantry and added it to my mixture; then the ashen look I wore as I bowed my head under the heat of a heavy scolding. 

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When I moved to Botswana to be with my mum, I had to start a new school. I had no friends and had just entered my adolescence. Everything was foreign to me. I had never seen a guy, save for my best friend's brother, and wasn't prepared for the onslaught of emotions that struck me when I first saw him. The frantic increase in heartbeats; the sweat dripping out of my pours and the obvious stutter in my words as I spoke to him; the widening of my eyes and the dilation of my pupils as I gazed upon him. All that crap. (/_\)

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And yet I felt inferior. It grew worse when I came to high school and it is still there; hanging over my head like a dark cloud of depression. I noticed it everywhere. Every guy wanted either a white girl or a yellow bone. All the guys I liked at least. That's how I grew to hate my skin tone even more. I know that people always say that black is beautiful and everything and that I should be thankful for my skin tone. I haven't woken up once in my teenage years and said, "Holy sh** I'm beautiful!" 

I haven't. Yet.

I'm still a teenager. There may still be time. Perhaps one day I will wake up and realize my full beauty and feel comfortable in my own skin for once in my life. But for now, I will remain in the dark, contemplating how much better people would treat me if I were lighter skinned.

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Sadly that is a very prevalent factor in my region of Africa; the whole of Africa in fact. Lighter skinned people are seen as superior and more attractive. That's why women aspire to appear more white in order to attract mates. They cake their skin with poisons that claim to lighten their skin but end up causing irreparable damage to themselves. I would never do that to myself: no matter how much I hate my skin tone.

Maybe. Someday.

RAP : DOOMED FOREVER?

Well it looks like I'm back bitches...and I ain't happy. >:(

Do you KNOW how terrible rap/hip hop music has gotten this past year?! With releases such as 'Bandz A Make Her Dance', 'Birthday Song' and 'Beez In The Trap' (notice how ALL of them contain 2 Chainz! Coincidence  I think not!!), the future is looking pretty bleak for rap music. And that is why I am here...to rectify...and rant...

Well let us start this list with my personal favorite, Lil' Wayne.

Okay Weezy, we know that you have achieved great success with your string of 'Tha Carter' albums which many consider as the height of your career. However, ever since Drake rolled around with his Canadian accent and his smooth 'Drag me into your bedroom sweetie and Screw me now' voice you seem to have plummeted in album sales and fallen out of favor with critics. Let us also not forget your other associate  Nicki Minaj, who has seemed to have sunk her Barbie pink fingernails into your brain and 'seduced' you with her multiple personalities; all of this while receiving a lap dance from her and watching her wigs fall off. -_-

But I digress.

The thing is, you seem to to assume that the children of today fancy you. You ASSUME that they want to hear you screech into the microphone in that gravelly voice of yours; sounding like an auto tuned grizzly bear during mating season! You ASSUME that we all want to hear about how you are CONSTANTLY 'getting money bitch!' Seriously dude? I doubt that any of us relate to that smooth $27 mil you're sitting on (as of late 2012), and we can't relate to the amount of bitches you be gettin', or as you so 'poetically' put it; the amount of p**** you receive from these thousands of loose hoes that hang out backstage at your shows. (hey that rhymed :)) You can't just ASSUME that everybody wants to hear about how you 'devour a female's nether-regions' every night of your life under the full moon. Really Weezy? ASSUME makes an ass out of you and me!

What annoys me most about you is the fact that you think that EVERY. DAMN. WORD. UNDER. THE. BLUE. MOON. RHYMES. WITH....NIGGA!!!

I mean really, it's just preposterous! And pretentious! The fact that you think that everyone looks up to a guy who only gets a few lines of witty wordplay in an otherwise crappy song. You walk around thinking that you have all this 'swag' but in reality your swag is like Botswana rain. Sometimes you're soaked in it but other times it goes on a week-long dry spell. Don't believe me? Well...








I had that same facial expression too when I saw those boots -_-

Weezy, honestly there's not much I can say other than that I hope that your future forays do not recede into the distance like your hairline. I also pray that the weed doesn't kill you and that that jail incident has REALLY changed you, for the better. I hope you don't blow your money on hoes and crappy collaborations with artists such as 2 Chainz, Juicy J and French Montana. And please don't get anymore meaningless tattoos! Seriously, the word 'BAKED' tattooed on your forehead...DOES. NOT. MAKE. YOU. GANGSTA!!!

more rap rants to come...stay tuned. :)