Serenity

Quiet.
Silence.
Peace.
Zen.
Relaxed.

I have never felt so relaxed before. I have never been so at peace.

Floating.
In mid-air.
Surrounded by the clouds.

I dream of you at times. Sometimes. A little. More often than I used to before. Your very being completes my existence.

Your walk.
Your talk.
The way you brush your hair out of your face.

I dream too. Sometimes of you. Mostly of you.

Your skin like a soft sheet of brown.
Your eyes a dark shade of chocolate. Warm. Gentle. Loving, yet harsh.

The way you look at me. I wish I could change the way you look at me. Your gorgeous eyes see through me like I'm a flimsy piece of tracing paper.

Tracing paper. Tracing hands. Your hands across my skin; tracing.

Paper thin like the very fabric of my existence. Stretched out waiting to be penetrated by the thoughts of your fancy. Waiting to be engulfed by the very fury of this love.

Engulfed. Gulf of Mexico. Deep sea diving into the abyss from which we came from.

Is it wrong that these words make up a strange song?

Is it wrong that I haven't cried about you for very long?

Sitting in my room, back against the wall,

It's no wonder that I haven't gone berserk and fucked the whole world up!

Slightly insane, mental images, clouding up my brain

Things like burning ashes into dust, then burying them

Unbeknownst to him, unbeknownst to me 

We're all stranded in a giant snow globe!

Insane. 

Society entails that we change our humanity to a life that is filled with less profanity

seeking wisdom from a ruler whose words are filled with vanity

crushing M & M's in a house whilst stealing jewelry. 

Crazy kids will never be ignored, they love the attention,

his throat was so full of words that he forgot to mention 

how his sister swallowed a sum enough to kill her, making out that the drug, not her, was the villain. 

Faith is a dying art, everybody killed it, out in the church they are praying for their sins and forgiveness, 

when they are quick to judge yet they themselves are the guilty. Words not to be trusted coming from the jury. We can't be judge, jury and executioner. 

It's about time that they listened to the Good Word

I'm not talking about myself, I'm talking about the Book

Turn the page to Revelations and take a look. 

                      -"Allahu Akbar"

Fluffy and Fooly Cooly

Feeling depressed.

Devoid of all happiness.

I'm absolutely melancholic.

Fooly Cooly is the best.

I have never really been more confused yet happy at the same time. Ever since I finished this anime, I have felt a little bit more empty inside. I feel as if my life has no meaning anymore. Naota and his crazy antics with Mamimi and Haruka-san have seemed to have an effect on me.

Is it normal that after watching one episode of FLCL I feel completely melancholic? Is it possible to feel melancholic? Sometimes when I feel melancholic, I listen to really sad music that makes me think about sitting in a tall tree with the boy of my dreams while we cut ourselves with razors and watch the blood drip down our wrists. 

Is it strange that I want to date someone as equally depressed as me? Yet I want to date someone who can cheer me up at the same time and will be the butter to my bread? Yeah, I sometimes don't know what I want. I could go for hours staring at the wall and feeling sad and sorry about myself. Then I tell myself to get over it then I realize that no one would ever want me so I decide to vent my frustrations in blog posts that I have yet to post.

 I also feel as if people don't really notice me most of the time. Sometimes I lie to myself and tell people that I'm actually quite happy with where I am in life. I know I should give back to the community and everything, even at the expense of my own happiness. I'm only human yet I live a privileged lifestyle compared to other people.

I want to meet a nice little Somali boy or a pretty Ethiopain girl and just talk to them. I want to know all about their lives and if they really live normal lives. I want to know all about the war and how it affects them. I want to ask them how it's like to be Muslim/Ethiopian Orthodox and what their daily routine entails. 

I've always been curious about people who cut themselves. Why do they do that? I tried once but my arm got all itchy and I never did it deep enough to leave any scars. Hmm...I should write an embellished blog post about that.

Melancholy and Fooly-Cooly

That's just how I feel

If words could describe who I want

Then I would describe you

I'm not that good at poetry

But you're tall and sturdy like a tree

And you can play baseball with me

And we can live life happily

I hope that you know that I care

And you are cuddly like a bear

And now my heart has gone unruly

So let's go home home and Fooly Cooly

                        ;)